United Methodeviations

Back Soon! April 12, 2012

Thanks for the emails and calls of concern — I am not sick, lost, strayed, stolen, spindled or mutilated… I am in Korea, and with a schedule that isn’t allowing me blog time (plus inconsistent Internet).  I will be back next week with a backlog of blogs, plus I am gearing up for play-by-play action at General Conference.  The number of you worried I might be ill is touching and gratifying.  So, I am not sick, just full of Kimchi!  “Talk” to you all next week.

An Unlucky Parable July 2, 2011

…excerpt from the recently discovered Gospel According to Bob (not a real gospel…)

Chapter 6, vss. 1-41

One day, the disciples noted Jesus deep in prayer.  On occasion, Jesus would open his eyes, draw figures in the sand, then return to prayer.  His reflections lasted many minutes.  Finally, Simon (also called Peter) interrupted him, saying, “Master, you seem vexed and deeply concerned.  Is there something we might help you with?”  Jesus looked at Simon, sighed, and said, “I am indeed vexed.  Our band has remained fixed at twelve for some time.  I am thinking how we might expand.”

“You mean, add a disciple?” asked Peter (also called Simon)

“Well, no, at least two disciples.  Thirteen would be unlucky.  But we need to grow.  Twelve just doesn’t seem like enough.  The Midianites now have sixteen and the Peruzites have almost two dozen.  I cannot seem to figure out what to do to get more disciples.” explained Jesus.

“Well, you could lower the expectations a mite,” muttered Judas.  “Leave family and home, give everything away, take up your cross and follow me — a bit stiff, and not a big draw…”

“But we do well enough,” said Peter (a fan of Paul Simon)  “Why do we need more?”

“More is better,” Jesus patiently explained.  “Think how impressive a hoard of disciples would be.”

“But what about the sick and the poor?  Preaching and teaching?” exclaimed Simon (a fan of Peter, Paul & Mary)

“Oh, they’ll still be here once we grow.  And just think how much better we will serve them when there are more of us!”

“So, a small group is what, chopped liver?  We can’t do your ministry because there are too few of us?  We don’t have any resources?” asked Peter (Simonized)

“Well, I don’t mean that.  You do fine.  I just think it’s time to grow a bit.  Focus on the numbers.  The bigger we get, the better we get!”

“And so how do you propose attracting new disciples?’ asked John.

“Advertising!” shouted Jesus.  “Look at all the empty sky around here.  It just cries out for billboards.  And look at this — I made it last night.”

John held a piece of parchment with a hook on the end.  “Uhm, it’s nice, but what is it?”

“It’s a door-hanger,” proclaimed Jesus.  “You put them on doorknobs, then run away.”

“What’s a doorknob?” asked Simon (with comprehension Petering out)

“Look.  Never mind.  Someday these will be big.  What matters most is getting more people.  I am certain the very next disciple we get will be the best one ever!” said Jesus.

“I doubt that,” chimed in Thomas.  “And, by the way, we are already thirteen if you count You.  I thought that was unlucky.”

“It probably will be for one of us.  Anyway, come on it’s almost Passover and we need to get to Jerusalem,” remarked Jesus.

Invitation to Prayer June 21, 2011

A church trial begins today.  Amy De Long, one of our pastors, performed a same-sex marriage and openly proclaimed her personal relationship with a female partner.  She did so in the context of a church that has not accepted either condition as “appropriate” of a United Methodist clergy-person.  And so we move forward with a church trial to decide her professional (but not her vocational) future.  Amy has done what she believes in her heart and conscience is the right and just thing to do.  Many agree with her; many do not.  But setting aside the “issues” for a moment, a child of God, a sister-in-Christ, and a member of the family of humankind is going through a stressful and excruciating process of having not only her conduct, but her very personhood judged by the church she feels called to serve.  I don’t care what an individual might feel about sexual orientation and the vagaries of human sexuality in general.  I care little at the moment about the legalism of the Book of Discipline and a church that runs its most important business by parliamentary procedure law rather than Spirit-filled grace.  What I care most about is that our Christian family is broken and that we are seeking ways to amputate limbs from our body.  I am saddened that we cannot openly and honestly state our disagreement and discomfort, then commit to finding a way through, together.  I have been praying regularly since last night and I will pray for grace, healing, harmony, kindness, mercy, justice, and generosity throughout the three days of trial.  I invite any and all who love God and hold hope for our church to pray as well.  This is not a time for posturing or debate; it is not a time to do further damage, but to ask that God’s grace might abound and be felt by all.

I’m Back! January 7, 2011

Hi, Friends!  I will begin posting anew from Epiphany forward, but I am just getting back on my feet from a severe bronchial infection that laid me flat for almost four weeks.  I am digging my way out of a mountain of backlogged work and am slowly getting my energy and drive back, so thanks for your patience and support.  New post will begin Monday, January 10, and I will try to get back to my two-to-three posts per week schedule.  Just wanted to let you know that United Methodeviations hasn’t gone away!

Church Mess-a-phor March 3, 2010

Thanks to bud Cathy Weigand for this video.  She sent it to me with the lyrics which I print below.  For me it is a brilliant metaphor for what a diverse, connectional system really looks like — discordant, messy, loud, kinetic, dynamic, frenetic, and always connected — each piece integral to the whole.  We use the apostle Paul’s image of the human body and the interplay of various parts and functions.  Here is a fun image of what this passage might look like if written by Rube Goldberg (look it up).  (Note: don’t be disconcerted by the opening scene — it isn’t blood, it’s red paint!)

You know you can’t keep lettin’ it get you down
And you can’t keep draggin’ that dead weight around.
If there ain’t all that much to lug around,
Better run like hell when you hit the ground.

When the morning comes.
When the morning comes.

You can’t stop these kids from dancin’.
Why would you want to?
Especially when you’re already gettin’ yours.
‘Cause if your mind don’t move and your knees don’t bend,
well don’t go blamin’ the kids again.

When the morning comes.
When the morning comes.

Let it go, this too shall pass.
Let it go, this too shall pass.

Let it go, this too shall pass.
(You know you can’t keep lettin’ it get you down. No, you can’t keep lettin’ it get you down.)

Let it go, this too shall pass.
(You know you can’t keep lettin’ it get you down. No, you can’t keep lettin’ it get you down.)
Hey!
Let it go, this too shall pass.
(You know you can’t keep lettin’ it get you down. No, you can’t keep lettin’ it get you down.)

A Christmas Wish December 24, 2009

No, it’s not a generic wish for peace on earth, but a specific wish for those of us calling ourselves “Christian.”  I wish that we — collectively and individually –could provide an example to the whole world of mercy, justice, civility, kindness, grace, acceptance, love, and joy, so that people would come to believe that faith in Christ actually makes some kind of difference.  It is not that we should never have conflict, but that we negotiate our differences in a healthier way.  It is not that we make everything right, but that we speak out in the face of injustice.  It isn’t that we compromise our values, but that we value respect and dignity as much as we value being righteous.  I wish we could become the body of Christ, able to serve and give and heal whenever and wherever we are — beginning in our own congregations.

And A Little Child Shall Lead Them… August 3, 2009

This is for any and all of us who think we can’t make a difference… and often don’t even try.