Recent conversations with pastoral leaders in my home Conference (Wisconsin) about young adult ministry share a common theme: there simply isn’t enough interest in the area.  Apparently, young adults don’t want what the churches have to offer.  Except, this morning when I stopped off for my morning Buzz at Beans ‘n Cream coffee shop, I noticed two small groups engaged in some deep Bible study.  One table hosted two fifty-somethings and five college students, the second table squeezed together nine twenty- and thirty-somethings.  I stopped and asked both groups what church they were from and got identical answers: we don’t go to church.

Now the default reaction for most mainline United Methodists is, why can’t we get these kids to come to church?  They study the Bible — they’re obviously interested in the Christian faith.  It seems like they are a prime target audience.  They want to grow in their faith, we’re the church — BINGO!  But therein lies the rub.  Church and the Christian faith are not the same thing, and much of what those inside the church find so valuable, those outside do not.  Much of what church members will tolerate, non-church members have no patience for.  Attending worship — the meat-and-potatoes of modern United Methodism — is of secondary importance to those seeking spiritual formation in small groups.  The sad fact is, we DON’T have what a large population is looking for.  They want relationship with God, we offer them relationship with a church (small “c”).

Now, don’t get upset.  There is nothing wrong with church.  I spend most of my days trying to help churches.  I think churches are swell.  But I also recognize the gaping chasm between Church — the body of Christ incarnate to serve in the world — and church — where we go on Sunday for worship and may gather during the week for programs, classes, meetings, suppers, and events.  For the segment of our population seeking the former, they often are completely turned off by the latter.  It is symptomatic of a church whose “busyness” displaces the “business” of the church — i.e., getting members instead of building community.

I have a passion and a deep desire to see strong young adult ministries — but I understand that they will not conform to a traditional vision.  Each time I raise the need for young adult ministries in my Conference, some well-meaning NOT young adult pipes in with, “We need to form a Young Adult Coordinating Committee!”  I quietly shake my head.  When I speak to young people and tell them the Conference wants to form a young adult “committee/council/planning group,” they beg me not to let it happen.  The fastest way to kill any kind of young adult focus is to force it into an old structure.  Young adults want form to follow function in organize ways — let the purpose and vision define the means of forming community and structure.  It isn’t rocket science… but it also isn’t the way “we’ve always done it before.”

Another symptom of this disease are the number of forty- and fifty-year-olds who want to “be involved” in young adult ministry.  Young adults are fine with non-young-adults providing resources and support, but if the older generation is running things, then it really isn’t young adult ministry.  It is not enough to be in ministry “to” young adults, or provide ministry “for” young adults, or even to be in ministry “with” young adults.  Young adults need to be in ministry to and for one another, and beyond themselves in the world.  Many young adults are suspicious of the older generations “welcoming them” into the existing structure.  We (over-40s) may want them (under-40s) to lead “our” church in the future, but that doesn’t seem to be the highest goal and value of young adults.  Living well and doing good are much higher priorities that believing right and being good — normative expectations of the existing church for younger seekers.

In the past twenty years, I have found absolutely no difficulty in striking up conversations about spirituality, God, Jesus Christ, Christian service, faith formation, and transformation — people are starving for such engagement.  But during the same period I have found it increasingly tricky to talk about church, religion, membership, and worship with those OUTSIDE the church.  These topics seem to be all we inside care to discuss, which is why people outside aren’t that excited about coming inside.

Making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world requires structure and resources — but it doesn’t require much of what we have become addicted to in the church: large buildings, expensive music programs, paid staffing, more and bigger and better equipment.  Most young seekers after Christ aren’t interested in those things.  Mostly, they want coffee (or tea), a table, time, and some compassionate, open people willing to sit with them and wrestle with the questions and concerns that emerge when they seriously wonder “why” and “what for.”  You cannot leave the church building without falling over one of them… but if you wait until they come to us, good luck.  They’ve already tried the church looking for Jesus, and all too often discovered he isn’t there.  But we already knew that — Jesus goes where the need is, and that — more often than not — is out in the world.

38 responses to “Dots Dying to Be Connected”

  1. Kelly Avatar
    Kelly

    I read your article with much sadness, but I also realize this is the tide of things coming. I am in my 40’s and my family&I go to church every Sunday and it is truely sad when the same people come to church and my family is basically the younger. Yet if you go to another area there is another United methodist church that is thriving with over 300 members and have the younger folk. I also agree with the article that the much older generation has to anticipate what the younger generation wants and that is less structure inside of a church meaning they don’t want to go to classes in order to be confirmed a member, they don’t want to sit and listen to a long winded sermon based out of the bible strictly. I am a young person with 2 kids and a husband with only 15-20 people coming each week. Traditional Church is becoming a thing of a past and as a younger person I miss “Traditional Sundays” Just my thoughts.

  2. Creed Pogue Avatar
    Creed Pogue

    Exchanges with a group with similar backgrounds “seeking” is only going to go so far. Sometimes it is synergestic learning and other times we simply exchange our ignorance.

    Structure is not a dirty word. It provides things like commitment and discipline which are “old-fashioned” because they are ETERNAL.

    1. doroteos2 Avatar
      doroteos2

      Unfortunately, what you say is as true for those inside the organized church as outside — maybe sometimes moreso, when those in the church operate from the mindset that they already “know” the truth and have all the answers. Nothing breaks my heart more than attending a United Methodist Sunday school class “studying” the Left Behind series to better understand God’s plan for human kind, or to see such announcements in church bulletins as this one: “Come to our Epworth study of The Shack, the true-life story of one man’s encounters with God in the modern day!” Pooled ignorance is not foreign to organized religion.

      Also, do note that in the blog I affirm the need for structure. My point is that the assumption that the structure we have is the best, most universal structure may require some reflection. The things of God are eternal; the things created by humankind, not so much.

  3. Eddie Hammett Avatar

    What a powerful discussion about such a critical topic! I’ve been studying and exploring Reaching People Under 40 While Keeping People Over 60 issues, challenges and opportunities for over 3 decades. I’ve also been writing about and exploring Spiritual Leadership in a Secular Age. Two books that have been sources of encouragement and guidance to me and to others.
    From this journey I’m now more hopeful that God’s church will survive and even thrive in the next several decades to foster the spiritual appetite of the young and embrace their passion for mission. The journey is challenging but worth it. The church will be different but still on mission with God in an increasingly pagan but thirsty world.

  4. John Meunier Avatar
    John Meunier

    Making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world requires structure and resources — but it doesn’t require much of what we have become addicted to in the church: large buildings, expensive music programs, paid staffing, more and bigger and better equipment. Most young seekers after Christ aren’t interested in those things.

    You leave the word “clergy” off your list, but I suspect it goes there, too. These coffee house groups clearly are not looking for or dependent upon an ordained clergy for their spiritual life.

  5. Dave Avatar
    Dave

    Yes, yes yes! Dan, your observations confirm my suspicions and my longings to see “church” become relevant. I just finished Dirty Word: The Vulgar, Offensive Language of the Kingdom of God (Jim Walker). He is helping form a faith community and experiencing some amazing things happening in ministry. His emphasis is on communion with God, “radical koinonia” as he puts it. Though his community is in inner city Pittsburgh, I’m excited that his ideas could be applied in any setting.

    For a long time, I bemoaned the stats and observations that seemed to doom the church. Now, I get excited. God is up to plenty…we just need to be willing to go where God leads!

    I live in a rural setting. I’ve counted about 17 churches in an area of not much more than about 20 miles. The churches are often non communicative with each other in spite of the fact that their families pretty much know each other. Church in these parts has devolved into a sectarian turf protection initiative….to the point that it makes me sad to call myself a Protestant. Yet, when I read your observations about young folk forming groups, I think Wesley must be smiling…and more important…Jesus must be smiling. Church is alive and well. I want to do everything I can as a Pastor to promote this new revolution. I wonder if these folks would let me join them…

  6. Lee Savage Avatar
    Lee Savage

    Focus is the name of the game in the world today. I hate to say it about the searching Young adult, but the time to focus is at a minimum. Everyone is running every which way in their own schedule. Sunday morning is closely followed by Sunday Afternoon activities, and time might not permit for church attendance, but they can develop that one on one relationship. This in time will draw them deeper into their bonding with the entire Body

  7. Gary Bebop Avatar
    Gary Bebop

    By focusing on sect survival, Methodism has become a project of managing our disappearance.

    But maybe there’s a place for our story on Masterpiece Classics (PBS).

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