Recent conversations with pastoral leaders in my home Conference (Wisconsin) about young adult ministry share a common theme: there simply isn’t enough interest in the area.  Apparently, young adults don’t want what the churches have to offer.  Except, this morning when I stopped off for my morning Buzz at Beans ‘n Cream coffee shop, I noticed two small groups engaged in some deep Bible study.  One table hosted two fifty-somethings and five college students, the second table squeezed together nine twenty- and thirty-somethings.  I stopped and asked both groups what church they were from and got identical answers: we don’t go to church.

Now the default reaction for most mainline United Methodists is, why can’t we get these kids to come to church?  They study the Bible — they’re obviously interested in the Christian faith.  It seems like they are a prime target audience.  They want to grow in their faith, we’re the church — BINGO!  But therein lies the rub.  Church and the Christian faith are not the same thing, and much of what those inside the church find so valuable, those outside do not.  Much of what church members will tolerate, non-church members have no patience for.  Attending worship — the meat-and-potatoes of modern United Methodism — is of secondary importance to those seeking spiritual formation in small groups.  The sad fact is, we DON’T have what a large population is looking for.  They want relationship with God, we offer them relationship with a church (small “c”).

Now, don’t get upset.  There is nothing wrong with church.  I spend most of my days trying to help churches.  I think churches are swell.  But I also recognize the gaping chasm between Church — the body of Christ incarnate to serve in the world — and church — where we go on Sunday for worship and may gather during the week for programs, classes, meetings, suppers, and events.  For the segment of our population seeking the former, they often are completely turned off by the latter.  It is symptomatic of a church whose “busyness” displaces the “business” of the church — i.e., getting members instead of building community.

I have a passion and a deep desire to see strong young adult ministries — but I understand that they will not conform to a traditional vision.  Each time I raise the need for young adult ministries in my Conference, some well-meaning NOT young adult pipes in with, “We need to form a Young Adult Coordinating Committee!”  I quietly shake my head.  When I speak to young people and tell them the Conference wants to form a young adult “committee/council/planning group,” they beg me not to let it happen.  The fastest way to kill any kind of young adult focus is to force it into an old structure.  Young adults want form to follow function in organize ways — let the purpose and vision define the means of forming community and structure.  It isn’t rocket science… but it also isn’t the way “we’ve always done it before.”

Another symptom of this disease are the number of forty- and fifty-year-olds who want to “be involved” in young adult ministry.  Young adults are fine with non-young-adults providing resources and support, but if the older generation is running things, then it really isn’t young adult ministry.  It is not enough to be in ministry “to” young adults, or provide ministry “for” young adults, or even to be in ministry “with” young adults.  Young adults need to be in ministry to and for one another, and beyond themselves in the world.  Many young adults are suspicious of the older generations “welcoming them” into the existing structure.  We (over-40s) may want them (under-40s) to lead “our” church in the future, but that doesn’t seem to be the highest goal and value of young adults.  Living well and doing good are much higher priorities that believing right and being good — normative expectations of the existing church for younger seekers.

In the past twenty years, I have found absolutely no difficulty in striking up conversations about spirituality, God, Jesus Christ, Christian service, faith formation, and transformation — people are starving for such engagement.  But during the same period I have found it increasingly tricky to talk about church, religion, membership, and worship with those OUTSIDE the church.  These topics seem to be all we inside care to discuss, which is why people outside aren’t that excited about coming inside.

Making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world requires structure and resources — but it doesn’t require much of what we have become addicted to in the church: large buildings, expensive music programs, paid staffing, more and bigger and better equipment.  Most young seekers after Christ aren’t interested in those things.  Mostly, they want coffee (or tea), a table, time, and some compassionate, open people willing to sit with them and wrestle with the questions and concerns that emerge when they seriously wonder “why” and “what for.”  You cannot leave the church building without falling over one of them… but if you wait until they come to us, good luck.  They’ve already tried the church looking for Jesus, and all too often discovered he isn’t there.  But we already knew that — Jesus goes where the need is, and that — more often than not — is out in the world.

38 responses to “Dots Dying to Be Connected”

  1. Mike Quimby Avatar
    Mike Quimby

    I am so grateful to see the UMC begin to embrace the idea of “if the horse is dead, get off!” As a young adult and someone on staff at a church reaching many young adults, it gets tiring hearing about Connectionalism, Methodism, legalism or any other -ism! The bottom line for us is not another system, denomination or church gathering. It is about authenticity in service, Biblically based teaching that is not clouded by a primary desire for systematically “correct” liturgy. I once told a young colleague that youth and young adults are not interested in overly formal liturgy week after week. He told me, “We need to teach them.” I disagree. We don’t need to teach them to love the UMC way of doing things. We need to teach/show them the love of Jesus and how to live a life of service to Him. Someone on this blog mentioned Acts Chapter 2; what a great place to start!

  2. Craig L. Adams Avatar

    Dick, you’ve been writing too much. I missed this one. and, it’s another good one. Yes, we want young people to come to us, conform to what we are doing, but we’re not so interested in going to where they are.

  3. Jeff Avatar
    Jeff

    How many churches are not now, nor ever have been, challenged to consider that ministry doesn’t have to happen “inside” the four walls? How many times do folks have the thought “if we could just get them (fill it in for your situation) in, we’d grow? Could it be because this mindset seems more comfortable? More safe?

    And I am not suggesting that this mindset is merely because of members of the church, but also pastoral leadership. When we began our Circuit Ministry model, there were some of the clergy who were being trained as circuit leaders who merely want to “take care of their own sheep.” There is no sense of reaching out side of the current circle themselves. And if the clergy don’t have such a mindset, how will our churches develop it?

    In John Wesley’s charge to his pastors he said, “You have nothing to do but save souls. Therefore spend and be spent in this work. And go always not only to those who want you, but to those that want you most. Observe: It is not your business to preach so many times, and to take care of this or that society: but to save as many souls as you can: to bring as many sinners as you possibly can to repentance, and with all your power to build them up in that holiness without which they cannot see the Lord.”

    That’s our United Methodist roots, isn’t it?

    Blessings…

  4. doroteos2 Avatar
    doroteos2

    At no point have I said, or meant to imply, that there is one good way to be in ministry with younger adults and youth, nor do I want to say the United Methodist Church is doing it “wrong.” I believe that in many places it is being done poorly, and in many places it is based on poor assumptions and limited thinking. We have some stellar young adult ministries in existing churches across this denomination. However, when I did my Vital Signs study of 1,117 churches, only 37 churches from that sample had healthy ministries including young adults. That’s 3%. When I share this statistic, most young people are surprised that the number is that high! But we also have some dynamic campus ministries and extension ministries that connect young adults with spiritual formation and Christian service. The main point that I have been trying to make is that ministry with young adults is not nearly as difficult as we’re making it. The obstacle, in a large number of cases, is our true motivating factor — getting more church members. The four best young adult ministries I have ever seen have two things in common — 1) most of the participants are not members of the church, and 2) virtually nothing the ministries do occur on church property. It is this basic shift in mindset — that the church is more than our building, that community is more than joining an existing, pre-determined congregation, spiritual formation is more than self-fulfillment, and that discipleship is more about becoming who God wants us to be instead of conforming to what an institution demands — that is the key. and it is this shift that many people “stuck” in old, style (note I don’t say traditional. The people who scream loudest about “tradition” would scream even louder were we ever to return to our true traditions…) definitions of church resist and reject most strongly. Most of the under-30 Christians I interview tell me they would LOVE to find a church to be part of/to join. They simply aren’t impressed by what they currently have to choose from.

  5. Rex Nelson Avatar
    Rex Nelson

    When I hear “Youth are the future of our church” I have to strangle a scream. In one breath it inspires, belittles, and marginalizes. So, too, was the Young Adult ministry my wife and I tried to lead. When we tried to reach out to the young adults listed in the directory (offspring of members) we were rejected with active disinterest and even a parent who didn’t want us to contact them – so bad was their impression of the place the church had made for them. Young people are a critical part of the Body and a necessary part of the church Present (take that word and construction in all its meanings). When we mentioned we might need to consider a broader mission field than Fellowship Hall, the roadblocks went up. I have only barely been able to get the church to consider due process in governance (in contrast to the typical clique-based leadership selection). I am now “in-charge” of Rethink Church. The premise is, we need to take the church outside the walls to where the young people are. Reading Ann Laymon, I know we have it backwards. The Church is already out there. We need to find it. The question is, why? Do we plan to bring it under our control? Is that good? Can we (will we), the church, learn from what we find? What, if anything, can we bring to the Church Outside? Does “unChurched” make sense anymore?

  6. Jeff Avatar
    Jeff

    I’m not sure how to bring the two sides John identifies together – at least if the void is as large and clear as he suggests. My own experience is different. I’m part of the organized church as an ordained UM pastor serving churches in three different conferences since 1981. I have valued the wisdom of my elders when they’ve been clear with their advice. I have appreciated their concern when fear raised up and a protectionist attitude prevailed. But I did not follow their advice when it came from that base.

    Too often, well-meaning folks in the church seem to want to stay “on the mountaintop” like Peter, James and John in today’s readings. But Christ is clear. The message of God’s love is primary and to be shared rather than kept.

    I agree with you, Dan, that the church is failing to help people discern God’s will. It seems like many folks tie God’s will to what makes them most comfortable. I see that most often in regards to one’s pocketbook. When I contrast our “modern” church with the one in Acts 2:42-47, I see large differences.

    I appreciated Lindsey’s comments and why she and her friends do not go to “church.” But I certainly don’t see them as unwilling to study the Scriptures or grow in their faith. We need to hear more voices like her’s. And we need to learn to discern God’s will. Can they teach us this?

  7. Stephen Avatar
    Stephen

    I didn’t begin attending church with any regularity until I was in my mid-forties. Less than five years after I found the Methodist Church to be just what I needed I was in process to become a pastor. I currently serve two churches both with relatively diverse congregations. I don’t spend much time obsessing about who is not there, I focus my time on those who are. Not very evangelical you say, on the contrary both churches are growing spiritually as well as numerically. Both churches offer tradition United Methodist worship and those who prefer that style ask others to attend who also prefer that style. After thirty five years in sales and marketing management I realize that even the church has a niche to serve. For us it could very well be the middle aged person. We may be very good at that and it may make sense for us to focus on the “unchurched gray hairs.”

    Even the twenty somethings are someday going to be fifty somethings.

    Look at the faces of those who serve on the Connectional Table. One youth and one young adult out of sixty people. If the body tasked with leading the church doesn’t value youth beyond that, than you may well find a reason why young people don’t see The UM Church as a place that is their “cup of tea” or coffee for that matter.

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