I received an interesting email from a pastor today who “followed my advice” and raised questions about expectations and accountability in the church.  He asked the “what is the church?” and “what is the church for?” questions, and zeroed in on what our membership vows really mean.  He was shocked when the chair of the church council responded by saying, “well, we don’t have time to talk about this now.  We have church business we need to deal with.”  Later that evening, the chair of SPRC (Staff-Parish Relations Committee) called to schedule an appointment — “We need to talk.  As soon as possible.”  The pastor was surprised early the next morning when the SPRC chair, the Lay Leader, the church Council chair, and the head of Trustees all showed up together.  The conversation went something like this (church leadership in bold; pastor normal type):

We need to know what’s gotten into you?

What do you mean?

This kick you’re on to push; to make us feel bad about not doing enough?

I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad.  I’m just trying to offer people something better.  I want to help people grow in their faith.

Well, that’s fine, but a lot of people are perfectly happy where they are.

I know they are, but that doesn’t mean they should be.

See?  That’s exactly the kind of pressure we’re talking about.  Who are you to judge what kind of Christians people should be?

It’s not a matter of “judging” anyone.  It’s a matter of helping people grow in their faith.

You made a lot of people uncomfortable last night.  You made it sound like we should be doing more.

We SHOULD be doing more!  I brought up the issues for a reason.

But that’s not why people come to this church.  People come here because they know they will be loved and cared for, not judged and made to feel guilty.

Being loved and cared for and becoming faithful disciples are not mutually exclusive.  People should want both.

In your opinion.  None of our previous pastors said any of this stuff.

But it isn’t just my opinion.  It’s in the Bible.  It’s in our Book of Discipline.  I didn’t make this stuff up. 

No, you said you pulled it off the web and we all know how reliable things are you can find online.

You’re kidding, right?  You’re saying because I got the articles off the web that we shouldn’t pay attention to it?  All I raised were three questions: what is the church? what is the church for? and how do we hold people accountable to the promises they made to God and one another.  That’s all.  These are good questions to ask.

But they’re unnecessary.  We’re not trying to be super-Christians.  We’re just normal people who love God and need to know that God loves us.  That’s all.  We don’t need you telling us how we ought to live our faith.  It’s none of your business if we pray or not or read the Bible or even how often we attend church.  You are here to be our pastor, not our conscience.

But I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t preach and teach from the Bible and challenge people to be the best Christians we can be.

Look, you’re young and we want to support you, but you need to be reasonable.  People are busy — we have full lives.  We don’t have time to be saints.  We need you to do your job — lead worship, visit church members, teach confirmation, pray for us, and try to grow the church.  We just don’t need you making things harder than they ought to be.

I don’t know what to say.  You tell me you want me to do my job, but when I do my job you don’t want me to.  This is impossible.  I didn’t do anything wrong last night.  In fact, I did exactly the right thing.

The pastor received a call later in the day from his district superintendent.  Hoping for support, he was irritated to discover that his DS sided with the congregation’s leadership, asking that he “back off.”  The DS told him that he needed to make this appointment work, and that he couldn’t afford to alienate key leadership.  Again, he heard that he needed to be “reasonable.”

What am I missing here?  I was called to ministry.  I am part of a church whose mission is to make disciples, but when I bring up acting like disciples I am told to back off.  If we  can’t even have discussions about what it means to be the church in the church, we’re in big trouble.  Anyway, I just wanted you to know that your “basic” questions are not “simple” questions at all.

This is one of the more dramatic responses I have received, but in no way is it rare or unusual.  Some of our United Methodist churches are held hostage by low expectations, complacency, lack of vision, and a distinct aversion to anything remotely disciple-like.  What are we going to do about it?  When mediocrity becomes the standard, it is only a matter of time until we cease to exist.  No relevancy, no urgency, no commitment = no church.  Unless it is safe and even encouraged to rock the boat, makes some waves, and shake things up, we may be looking for a new church real soon.

124 responses to “Make-No-Wave United Methodist Church”

  1. Jeff Uhler Avatar
    Jeff Uhler

    If we are keeping the current average of 4-5 years, the way to change the church is by preparing a “parallel” group, nurturing them, empowering them, getting them elected to key leadershi positions and then following that pastor with another who will continue to push the same wheel of momentum. This would require lots of discussion between the outgoing and incoming pastor – something that has been discouraged in the past.

    I have seen this happen, however. I was the “change pastor” and took the heat, but had support from the cabinet and bishop to change the church’s DNA. We established a new course and set sail. I was asked by the cabinet to move to a new location and they followed me with a pastor who had a similar vision for the congregation and was able to continue the work. That church is now growing with new members and younger families – just as I told them it could while I was their pastor. I broke the barriers and the new pastor continued the momentum and is experiencing the fruit of our combined labors.

  2. David Kueker Avatar

    I appreciate the idealism and sincerity expressed on this page, but we’ve been protesting this and confronting that in the UMC since 1968. Attacking the status quo feels good, but if it worked, we’d be in the perfect church.

    “Afflicting” the sheep is a poor strategy.

    The level of alienation demonstrated in this case has causes – and these causes remain unknown.

  3. Randy Avatar

    To expand, I’m beginning my third year in a church where I’m seeking to be a transformational leader (is there any other way?). Support of key leaders in the church and especially district/conference leaders goes a long way.

  4. Randy Avatar

    Wow.

    I’m thanking God for the key leaders in my church and for the leaders in my conference who expect pastors to be transformational leaders!

  5. Abril Goforth Avatar
    Abril Goforth

    Good Lord, Help Us! I really want to believe this is some sort of joke. Laity who don’t get it… okay. We have some of those. But a DS?! Seriously? Criminy.

  6. Sara Long, Director of Music Ministries, Vista Ysleta UMC, El Paso, TX Avatar
    Sara Long, Director of Music Ministries, Vista Ysleta UMC, El Paso, TX

    Being a Christian isn’t always soft and fuzzy. It’s uncomfortable. With a reason. Christ didn’t teach a comfy cozy message of “peace-love-dove”. As Methodists, we have to answer the hard questions of “Have we failed to be an obedient church?” Have we heard the cry of the needy? Have we rebelled against God’s love? Have we loved our neighbors? Have we broken God’s law? Have we done His will? Have we fed the hungry? Have we been “Christ” in the world? If we are truly honest, God will free us for joyful obedience, but we have to move forward in a direct and positive way. WE LIVE IN DESPERATE TIMES!

  7. Greg Smith Avatar
    Greg Smith

    Wow, this really hit home. I have been struggling with two small churches that face this same type of apathy. One church is in the process of learning how to become church again after having gone through a very troubled time. The other is suffering from spiritual apathy and has been for a long time. We seem to be stuck in a period of expecting the same things that worked in the 50’s and 60’s to work today. We have cheapened the understanding of what it means to be a church member. We have come to believe that our tithe is the cost of admission and if we do not come them we do not have to give. Church has become an hour or two of entertainment of Sunday morning and just a way to put off cutting the grass. That is not to say that there are not people in our congregations that are here for the right reasons. That number however seems to be dwindling.
    Bishop Whitfield nailed it by using the word “tolerate” I spent a career working outside all the time. I learned to tolerate bad weather or good weather. We should not tolerate contentment. We are a dying church whould we learn to tolerate that? Is this just the way it is and we just need to accept it or should we get back to our roots? Can we learn from the Christians in Africa or any other third world country for that matter? I have a lot of questions. I wish I had more answers.

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