Make-No-Wave United Methodist Church

I received an interesting email from a pastor today who “followed my advice” and raised questions about expectations and accountability in the church. He asked the “what is the church?” and “what is the church for?” questions, and zeroed in on what our membership vows really mean. He was shocked when the chair of the church council responded by saying, “well, we don’t have time to talk about this now. We have church business we need to deal with.” Later that evening, the chair of SPRC (Staff-Parish Relations Committee) called to schedule an appointment — “We need to talk. As soon as possible.” The pastor was surprised early the next morning when the SPRC chair, the Lay Leader, the church Council chair, and the head of Trustees all showed up together. The conversation went something like this (church leadership in bold; pastor normal type):

We need to know what’s gotten into you?

What do you mean?

This kick you’re on to push; to make us feel bad about not doing enough?

I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad. I’m just trying to offer people something better. I want to help people grow in their faith.

Well, that’s fine, but a lot of people are perfectly happy where they are.

I know they are, but that doesn’t mean they should be.

See? That’s exactly the kind of pressure we’re talking about. Who are you to judge what kind of Christians people should be?

It’s not a matter of “judging” anyone. It’s a matter of helping people grow in their faith.

You made a lot of people uncomfortable last night. You made it sound like we should be doing more.

We SHOULD be doing more! I brought up the issues for a reason.

But that’s not why people come to this church. People come here because they know they will be loved and cared for, not judged and made to feel guilty.

Being loved and cared for and becoming faithful disciples are not mutually exclusive. People should want both.

In your opinion. None of our previous pastors said any of this stuff.

But it isn’t just my opinion. It’s in the Bible. It’s in our Book of Discipline. I didn’t make this stuff up.

No, you said you pulled it off the web and we all know how reliable things are you can find online.

You’re kidding, right? You’re saying because I got the articles off the web that we shouldn’t pay attention to it? All I raised were three questions: what is the church? what is the church for? and how do we hold people accountable to the promises they made to God and one another. That’s all. These are good questions to ask.

But they’re unnecessary. We’re not trying to be super-Christians. We’re just normal people who love God and need to know that God loves us. That’s all. We don’t need you telling us how we ought to live our faith. It’s none of your business if we pray or not or read the Bible or even how often we attend church. You are here to be our pastor, not our conscience.

But I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t preach and teach from the Bible and challenge people to be the best Christians we can be.

Look, you’re young and we want to support you, but you need to be reasonable. People are busy — we have full lives. We don’t have time to be saints. We need you to do your job — lead worship, visit church members, teach confirmation, pray for us, and try to grow the church. We just don’t need you making things harder than they ought to be.

I don’t know what to say. You tell me you want me to do my job, but when I do my job you don’t want me to. This is impossible. I didn’t do anything wrong last night. In fact, I did exactly the right thing.

The pastor received a call later in the day from his district superintendent. Hoping for support, he was irritated to discover that his DS sided with the congregation’s leadership, asking that he “back off.” The DS told him that he needed to make this appointment work, and that he couldn’t afford to alienate key leadership. Again, he heard that he needed to be “reasonable.”

What am I missing here? I was called to ministry. I am part of a church whose mission is to make disciples, but when I bring up acting like disciples I am told to back off. If we can’t even have discussions about what it means to be the church in the church, we’re in big trouble. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that your “basic” questions are not “simple” questions at all.

This is one of the more dramatic responses I have received, but in no way is it rare or unusual. Some of our United Methodist churches are held hostage by low expectations, complacency, lack of vision, and a distinct aversion to anything remotely disciple-like. What are we going to do about it? When mediocrity becomes the standard, it is only a matter of time until we cease to exist. No relevancy, no urgency, no commitment = no church. Unless it is safe and even encouraged to rock the boat, makes some waves, and shake things up, we may be looking for a new church real soon.

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124 responses to “Make-No-Wave United Methodist Church”

Tony Jarek-Glidden

October 2, 2010

Sme advice for that pastor: “Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with – even when it seems that are strong on opinions, but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.” Romans 14: 1 The Message

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Tony Jarek-Glidden

October 2, 2010

When I first read the original blog, my thought was “sad, but not unusual.” The more I thought about it, however, the more it occured to me that they actually did answer his two original questions: “what is the church?” and “what is the church for?” Their response, “People come here because they know they will be loved and cared for” does actually answer the questions.
There is another school of thought that says the way to move folks forward is to help them use their strengths (“People come here because they know they will be loved and cared for”) to strengthen their weaknesses. Perhaps the way to move forward is to build on their loving relationships to find ways to include others in that love and caring.

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Dave Buerstetta

October 2, 2010

Dan, et al., your post and comments have been fascinating reading – thanks!
The problems posed here have given me pause. A few of us from my congregation recently attended a Conference event with Cliff Christopher. It was billed more or less as stewardship training, but at the heart of it, it was really about being a disciple. Christopher’s main message: we need to expect more out of our people, we need to teach them how to be disciples. Make membership matter by “requiring” attendance, tithing and serving people outside the church.

As we discussed what we heard that day, we said many of the things that have been shared here, especially: if we take this tough stance on what it means to be a member at our church, some people aren’t going to go there with us. So we’ll just work with the committed few who are willing!
And we left the event fired up.

But now it seems to me we might have underestimated the kind of fracture such a stance can create. I think (hope!) we’ll continue with our plans, but now we’ll do so with a better idea of possible resistance.

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David Kueker

October 2, 2010

Another way to look at the consumer issue is as the first stage of spiritual growth … where, like in infancy, people are entirely dependent upon others to care for them.

Obviously, we aren’t very good at helping them move to the next stage as 83% of church attenders are stuck here.

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Mike Lindstrom

October 1, 2010

I know this post has many tangents now, but I don’t have audience with this much of a variety of folks. My question stems from several comments made about the “me” generation and the “consumeristic” sense of doing church, which is often directly connected with contemporary styles of worship (and there is an argument to be made against that as well).

Why is this “me” perspective and this consumer mindset being touted as the fault of the church’s demise? First of all, this decline has been happening for 35-40 years, long before this generation came of age in regard to influence. Secondly, if we were so consumer-minded in our church work, shouldn’t we being doing much better? Or, are you saying we are trending toward consumerism and we’re also really bad at it?

If the gospel is not something that should be touted as beneficial to the individual, why did Jesus tell us that he came to bring us life and life in abundance at that? Why did Jesus address the needs of the 5,000 who would have only missed one meal? Why did he raise the widow’s son? Why did Peter and John heal the lame man on the way to the Temple? Was it not for the benefit of those persons? Yes, it also was a sign to those around them, but wouldn’t an individual’s life changed through Christ in the church today do likewise?

I think this idea of being consumeristic is a straw man. It makes a nice target but its not really the problem. There is a deeper issue of discipleship that must be recovered and the idea that the traditional hymns of Charles Wesley and others is the answer oversimplifies the problem.

I believe the answer lies in pointing people toward God’s vision for the church instead of our own. I believe it goes beyond following the lessons of Jesus and following Jesus. I believe we who are being poked and pushed by the Holy Spirit must commit ourselves to truly following Jesus – much as John Wesley sought to do much of his life and thereby became an real force of influence in the lives of others. But, as Wesley knew, we must be ready for dirt and rocks to be thrown and maybe even our meeting places to be set on fire. I ask myself regularly if I am really ready to do this myself, because as much as it’s about God it starts for me when I choose to follow – in that way, it’s all about me.

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Kelly

October 1, 2010

Comment #45 – Brad S – I totally agree with your comments on consumerist mentality in the church (and not just the UMC, my experience is from the Lutheran – ELCA – Church). The ‘me generation’ has invaded Christianity to an extent that I never imagined, and evidently most don’t see yet (or want to admit or be challenged on.) Just listen to contemporary Christian music, really listen. You’ll hear more “Me”, “My” and “I” than is fathomable. It may seem inoccuous enough – and indeed we all must think about our personal relationship to Christ – but it has had profound effects (the entire shift, not the music per se.) We’ve turned inward. We focus on our congregations. We focus on our small groups. Christianity is meant to be big, outwardly focused and guided by service to and focus on others. This is the example Christ layed before us, this is what the Bible tells us over and over and over.

I am not a pastor. I am not a council member. I am a Christian who read this blog post by connection to a friend who happens to be a UMC minister. It is exactly the types of squabbles described in the original post that have led me to avoid attending worship, quite frankly. They haven’t lead me to question my faith or my God. They have lead me to question whether the church itself, in its present form, helps to bolster and sustain that faith or to tear it down. Sad but true.

It’s a fine line to focus on those who are energized and ready to do the work, and any pastor who sets out to use this method should shore themselves up for some serious backlash – and to stand firmly with those who they’ve identified as ready and willing to do the work and set the example. We had a small group like this in my years-long church home (ELCA.) We had a pastor who took this exact approach. For two years it went well. We had an extremely active orphan ministry that did amazing things for and with God and his orphans. In fact it took almost no church resources whatsoever and was an excellent, positive example of what motivated, empowered members of a church can do to further God’s love. In the end, though, it was seen as a threat to the entreanched members of the church. They did whatever they could to roadblock, sadly. The pastor tried to play peacemaker. He made a tactical error there. It was horribly disappointing to those of us who responded to his call to help build ‘a church within the church’ and demoralized us. The ministry itself ceased, and the neutral members of the large congregation who simply enjoyed knowing the church was doing these great things were somewhat disappointed. And those long-term members who pushed back on the pastor (very much like those in the original post’s story)? They simply gained more power.

Evolution versus revolution. Well, perhaps it depends on the congregation in question. I’m not sure I’m qualified to even weigh in on that. All I can say for myself is that I’d rather be out here on my own with my God, asking him what I can do to minister to others, without a congregation and a pastor and the politics that inevitably get in the way. I’ve heard many dear Christian friends question this feeling and claim that you need the fellowship and communal worship of a congregation and membership. My response: not if that congregation isn’t supporting the real, true lessons Christ taught and the examples he lived. Prayers for all the good pastors caught in these types of situations.

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1. doroteos2
  
  October 1, 2010
  
  Kelly, thank you for sharing this. We need to listen. We need to hear. We need to change.
  
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David Kueker

October 1, 2010

For those who might like to check it out, it’s on page 101-102 of Peter’s Senge’s The Fifth Discipline: The Art And Practice of the Learning Organization (New York: Doubleday, 1990).

This became a key piece of my 2008 Doctor of Ministry project on the subject, especially in Seminar 2, which can be downloaded here: http://www.disciplewalk.com/Resources.html

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