FaithQuest Revisited

Running Out of Options

Dan R. Dick

August 8, 2011

Christian witness, Church Leadership, Congregational Life, Core Values, Religion in the U.S., The United Methodist Church

Christian Community, The United Methodist Church, Values

What is the greatest threat to our United Methodist Church? Is it decline? Is it tolerance of sin? Is it judgmentalism? Is it hypocrisy? How about controversy and conflict? Nope. There is one, simple threat to our continued existence and that is US. Our church has been subverted by a self-centered, selfish, consumeristic, privileged entitlement mentality that puts the comfort of the individual ahead of the integrity of the community of faith and the will and vision of God. My-way-or-the-highway, take-my-ball-and-go-home immature coercion is becoming the norm rather than the exception. This, and this alone, has the power to kill us.

See, if we set aside our own selfish agendas and make a commitment to work together in the name of Jesus Christ, none of the other threats has any teeth. Together, we can work through anything. Conflict doesn’t have to be destructive. Sin is a condition to address, not a test to determine who we will love and who we will not. Hypocrisy is something we strive to eliminate rather than a guilty secret we attempt unsuccessfully to hide. Unity in Christ — even across our differences — is the key to our future and to turning around our decline.

What is the evidence of our brokenness? Look at the following dozen quotes and see if you can pick up the thread:

My wife and I have decided to leave the Methodist Church because of its hateful stance on gay and lesbian people.

I will not stay in a church that allows homosexuals. Unless the church teaches that homosexuality is an abomination it is not a church.

If the church has the power to tell me I cannot bring my gun with me, then I will find a church that will obey the law.

When I found out that the Methodist church supported collective bargaining, I knew I had to leave. Let those people work for a living like the rest of us. The church has no right to tell me my politics.

I cannot stay in a church that tolerates abortion as a form of birth control. [We don’t, by the way — read our Social Principles…]. The church should not condone murder.

We are leaving the church. Protesting the death penalty is wrong. We are Christians and we believe in an eye for an eye.

The United Methodist Church has no backbone. The fact that it will not take a stand in support of GLTB (gay, lesbian, trans-gender, bi-sexual) children of God is ludicrous. I want to go to a church that has a clue what LOVE means.

I will not attend a church that gives aid to illegals (immigrants). Those people are criminals and the church is criminal for supporting them. I will only contribute money to a church committed to sending them back where they belong.

My husband and I are leaving the church. We were devastated that the church did not take a stand in support of immigration reform [we did…] and we cannot abide a church that doesn’t live their principles.

Church and politics should be kept separate. We are going to the Assemblies (of God) church now where church and state are kept separate. What we believe and how we vote are unrelated.

I have been a lifelong member of the Methodist church, but I feel I have to leave because the church has not supported the most vulnerable in (Governor Scott) Walker’s hostile attack on worker’s rights. If you won’t support us, why should we support you?

We don’t like the pastor you sent us. We (have) written letters, we withheld our giving, now you leave us no choice but to leave the church.

See any patterns? Doesn’t matter which side a person is on — if they don’t get their way, they leave. Developmental theorists identify this as a clear sign of emotional immaturity, but it is a sign of spiritual immaturity as well. If reflects a fundamental misunderstanding of what the church is and what the church is for. We have taken the body of Christ and turned it into a shopping center for narcissists. It is all about ME. If I get things my way, I stay. If the church won’t revolve around ME, I am out of here. The above examples are a small sample of a regular and growing trend. At a recent meeting of clergy, I asked each participant to share one story or example of a similar situation they encounter. The response was overwhelming. Most clergy report that they deal with a “threat to leave” on the average of one per week; all around a single issue or incident.

Political strategists in the 1980s identified a niche in the American voting public — single-issue voters. They found that for a large demographic of Americans — generally high school graduates, lower-middle class, rural-Mid-western and blue-collar — who could agree with ninety things but would ignore them all over just one thing they didn’t like. The key single-issue issues that were most exploited were abortion and homosexuality. The phenomenon has been explored in numerous books and articles, but the evidence is clear: millions of voters will vote for a party that actually hurts them personally as long as it panders to their single-issue. We now see the same thing in our church — though the demographics have expanded to include just about everyone.

I had a conversation with a woman a few weeks ago who tearfully told me that she was leaving the church over our position on immigration. She told me that Church and Society was ruining the church with its liberal agenda. I asked her if she liked what Church and Society has done with gambling, tobacco, domestic abuse, women’s issues, and global health and wellness. Oh, yes, she enthused, all of those things are wonderful, but supporting foreigners who were taking our jobs was intolerable. Evidently, the great good we are doing makes little difference when there are one or two things of which we might disapprove.

To be evangelical, missional, and involved in the plight of the poor and marginalized — all signature characteristics of our Methodist heritage — means we will share some passions in common and disagree on others. We have a simple, but huge choice to make. We can either choose to focus on the things we share in common and overlook some personal opinions, or we can put our own agendas ahead of everyone else’s (including God’s) and only participate in churches that agree 100% with everything we believe (good luck with that). Our church has a fabulous future, but only to the extent that we get over ourselves.

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20 responses to “Running Out of Options”

David Kueker

August 8, 2011

I remember a time in my life when people with just such a selfish agenda as you describe literally controlled my life – kept me up at night, walking the floor, incessantly demanding that I meet their infantile needs. And that is exactly what it is.

Fortunately in less than a year they grew out of it, got potty trained and now they are all done with college and out on their own.

When we do nothing to help baby Christians grow out of spiritual infancy, we reap what we sow.

For a visual parable on the matter – http://www.disciplewalk.com/parable_Orphanage_M.html

In less than a year, third world cell churches and disciple making Church Planting Movements help new Christians grow up into disciple makers leading their own evangelistic cell groups. That’s why I wrote my DMin project on exactly how they do it.

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Kevin

August 8, 2011

“Together, we can work through anything.”

This statement is more wishful thinking than based on fact. It sure looks like there are a couple of issues we can’t work through.

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John Meunier

August 8, 2011

I bet Roman Catholics would chuckle at a Protestant making this argument. 🙂

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dave werner

August 8, 2011

i appreciate your response, Dan, to RH.

i also wonder how that response and this discussion relates to the larger context of the entire Church. That is, can we retain denominational distinctives as we move to another tradition? Will this blending end in a great big mess or a richer witness to the fullness and diversity of the work of God’s entire community of faith (trust)?

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RH

August 8, 2011

In spite of my labored efforts to stave off my recurring conviction to *leave*, I’m inevitably moving in that direction.

I have reasoned my way out of examples like the ones that you cite, recognizing as you do the spiritual and emotional immaturity of leaving when things don’t suit my tastes, interests, and so forth. Personal reasons are not enough to leave this mountain.

Yet, your article did provoke further clarity on why it is that I will leave, should that day come.

1. Values. I learned the values of sacrifice, commitment, striving, straining, laboring from Scripture and confirmed as much through witnesses such as our founder. Though my home church was filled with amazing witnesses to these things, I have not since identified consistent values in our current denominational context. Instead, I see values increasingly center on the morphing of politics and religion, like the well-worn “family values” motif, which often becomes an idol. Or the equally well-worn “this party shares Christian values and that party is of Satan” motif. In terms of the denominational context, I see a lack of any sense of urgency in responding to any number of problems that once were addressed by church, including healthcare, debt, caring for the impoverished, etc. I see articles and occasional focus pieces in our news service, but I do not see the sea-change that was present in earlier times where the church had a clear presence. Where is our passion to help the child without enough to eat, the unemployed person losing hope, the person without healthcare, and so on? Does our current climate reflect consistent values that reflect the passionate values set forth by Jesus?

2. Focus. I feel an increasing pressure to conform to the “new order” that is reflected in our “Call to Action” culture. DS’s and Bishops are increasingly relentless in their pressure on clergy to create discipleship plans, and seem never to tire of imposing new reading lists, programs, methods, conferences, special meetings, additional charge conference requirements (in the form of discipleship plans) and so on. These are quantitative responses that overshadow qualitative necessities. They are distractions to a clear focus. And they rob me and the congregation of valuable time in responding to the sense of urgency in our present context (plummeting stock market, unemployment, etc).

3. Secularism. I’ve observed first hand cliques, preferences, biases, special considerations, and the like. I’ve observed good, quality candidates get discredited and damaged by BOM’s and other groups. I’ve attended lots of workshops where clergy and laity are encouraged to adopt the “habits of highly effective people” and pattern their leadership after a variety of CEO’s and the like. Yet, secularism is diminishing as a culture and as an influence. Today in particular I am reminded of its shortcomings (as the Dow continues to plummet). Perhaps most distressing is the consistent climate of “volunteerism” I see in virtually every church I’ve served. The prevailing attitude seems to be that we prefer to think of our time as our own and therefore look at service more like a cafeteria of choices rather than a Scriptural calling and responsibility to the faith community.

Do such reasons fall into the category of spiritual immaturity? Are these reasons merely heavy handed attempts to brush over my individual preferences, my inclinations toward idealism, my ignoring my own faults, my downplaying of the imperfections present in any human endeavor, my lack of more thorough theological analysis, my lack of spiritual stamina, and so on? Perhaps. Though I hasten to add that I see the same dismay written on the faces of many a clergy person and lay person.

I offer no conclusion other than I still have that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that all is not right, nor will it be in this present context. And accompanying the dread is a sense of profound excitement that God is moving and calling…where and how remains to be seen.

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1. Dan R. Dick
  
  August 8, 2011
  
  There will always be legitimate reasons to eventually leave a community of faith. We are not perfect. The condition I speak to is a much more fundamental and basic unwillingness to work at finding hard solutions. I was in a church that had a crisis intervention ministry, a prison ministry and a shelter for single mothers and their babies. The majority of older members decided they didn’t want those kinds of people tainting our chuch. After years of fighting, the ministries were discontinued, and I went to a church where I could continue to serve in these ministries. I moved to ministries, not away from a situation where I couldn’t have my way. The comments I receive are very rarely about a desire to serve more, do more, be more — I highlight comments where people disagree with what the church does, so they bolt. I feel there is a significant difference here. Anytime our focus is on what the church is not, what it is doing wrong, what it does that we don’t like, we are heading in the wrong direction. Working together in community to create something good reframes our whole life together. We will never achieve this as long as our default response to disagreement is to walk away.
  
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Shannon

August 8, 2011

This is troubling, but I’m not completely convinced. “Sin is a condition to address, not a test to determine who we will love and who we will not.” Yes, but if we can’t agree on what is and is not sinful, then we’re going to have some problems.

Some things are too important to just get along. Let’s try a thought experiment. Would you stay in a church that had a Bible-burning ceremony and decided that the Bible wasn’t important anymore? Would you stay in a church that decided talking about Jesus is too polarizing, and from now on, they’ll only refer to God or the Spirit? Extreme examples, but I think none of us would.

This is like the famous story with the punchline “Now we’re just haggling over the price.”

So the question is, what’s that important? I was in a church that split over what side of the sanctuary the organ was on and whether or not the KJV *translation* was the inspired Word of God. Stupid issues? I think so.

But then homosexuality… that’s not a stupid non-issue to me. That’s a question of whether we allow others to be viewed as fully human in the church. This is a question of love in Christ, and I don’t think there *is* a more basic question if we’re talking about the church. I suspect people who are anti-abortion feel similarly: that they absolutely cannot stay in a place that condones murder. (I don’t personally believe abortion is murder, because I don’t believe life necessarily begins at conception, and I think the Old Testament is on my side in this one… but I do respect the convictions of people who disagree).

To put it another way, a church that as a whole does *not* allow homosexuals to participate in full life with Christ is robbing me of full communion with my Christian brothers and sisters. That’s not acceptable, that’s not minor, and that’s worth leaving over.

It’s not about me. It’s about Christ. My understanding of Christ is that He goes not to the whitened sepulchres of religious folks but to the people that the religious folks reject… and I want to be where Jesus is.

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1. Dan R. Dick
  
  August 8, 2011
  
  I wouldn’t go to a Bible-burning church in the first place. You prove my point, though, through your response. We will either strive to become what God wants us to be or we will decide to stay what we want to be by the lines we draw. It all boils down to what we understand church to be. If the church is ours, we will live one way. If it is God’s, we will have to learn to live another.
  
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Todd Anderson

August 8, 2011

AMEN AMEN and AMEN
Come preach to us @ OC, Fksville, SM — all the broken places Brother !!

One Blood — One Body ……….
Even Though We May Not All THINK alike, May We Not all LOVE alike ? (Fr. John…….)

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