prayerI am deeply distressed by the state of prayer in The United Methodist Church – at least among pastors.  As I am visiting with clergy leaders, I am asking about their personal devotional lives, and far and wide I am finding that many have no personal devotional life.  I have been asking both laity and clergy leadership about prayer, and I get blank stares.  In one visit a couple of years ago, I met with a leadership team from a small congregation with some dynamic growth potential.  As we named our hopes and dreams for the future, the following desires emerged:  we want to grow, we want to reach young people, we want to improve attendance, and we want to get more people involved in leadership.  I pointedly asked, “Are you praying for these things?”  The pastor asked, “What do you mean?”  I said, “When you meet together – do you pray for these things, specifically and by name?  Individually, as leaders in the congregation, do you pray for these things every day?  Do you raise these things in worship and invite the congregation to pray for these things?”  The pastor and key leadership confessed that, no, they were not praying for these things.  The following week, I received an email from the pastor telling me how offensive and inappropriate he – and other leaders – felt my comments were.  He felt that I created an awkward and insulting situation.  I wrote back that I apologized for nothing – if the leaders are not grounded first and foremost in prayer then I doubted that any planning process would be very effective.  I haven’t been invited back.

In a conflict situation, I challenged the pastor to be in prayer daily about the healing of the congregation.  She responded that she had been praying about the problem people constantly.  I said, “Don’t pray about people – pray for them, pray with them, pray about yourself, invite others to pray for grace, healing, humility and unity – but don’t treat others as a problem for God to solve or straighten out.”  Again, I wasn’t contacted again.

In a third setting, I advised the Trustees, Staff Parish Relations Committee, Church Council and Lay Leader join the pastor in a solid month of daily prayer and reflection on God’s will for the congregation.  I received a phone call the next morning from the pastor who told me, “You really blew your credibility with my key leaders last night.  We called you for your expertise in planning and you offered a bunch of fluffy hocus-pocus instead of practical ideas.”  When a pastoral leader accepts “fluffy hocus-pocus” as an uncontested definition of prayer, we are in deep trouble.

Airheads are those with nothing of substance from the neck up.  In a skeptical and cynical culture, it is to be expected that outsiders might look at the practice of prayer with contempt and derision. After all, Paul reminds us that what we value as strength, the world will deem foolishness.  We proudly assume the mantle of “fools for Christ” – taking on the label of prayerheads, as it were.  But what happens when the skeptics and cynics are not the outsiders, but those in the circle begin to view fundamental faith practices as foolishness, a waste of time?  A district superintendent friend of mine in Tennessee once lamented to me, “I used to pray for all the pastors in my district, but I stopped.  It never did any good — for them or for me.  I hung in there as long as I could, but finally I had to stop deluding myself.”

Do UM leaders believe in the power of prayer today?  Do we see any “practical” value in being a people of prayer – committed to daily prayer and discernment, seeking God’s input into our ministry and mission?  Many pastors report being “too busy” to set aside dedicated time for personal prayer, devotional/reflective study of scripture, meditation, fasting or worship (apart from that which they lead).  Is this not a serious problem?  How deep is the well from which we are drawing?  How are we being refreshed, renewed, equipped and perfected?  If we are too busy for prayer, are we not too busy for ministry?  Is it possible that we engage in a discipleship that is disconnected from spiritual discipline and regular practice?

There are still some mighty prayer warriors in our denomination – both clergy and laity – but I fear they are quickly dwindling in number.  It is troubling that so many leaders are unsure of the value or efficacy or prayer.  An overwhelming number of lay people report that prayer isn’t taught in their congregation — there is simply a general belief that everyone knows how to pray and that they are doing it on a regular basis.  Pastors are professional prayers; laity are all too often merely prayer-listeners.  Accountability to the membership vow to “uphold the congregation” through prayer is all but non-existent.  A majority of United Methodists report praying in times of need, stress or anxiety (and before meals), but very few report engaging in a regular, disciplined practice of prayerful time with God.  Fully a third confess that they only pray when they are in church (from a study conducted when I was at the General Board of Discipleship in 2002), and a significant number of younger, newer Christians admit that they didn’t know that they were supposed to pray — no one ever told them!

Maybe I am worried about nothing.  Perhaps prayer is an endangered species in our ultra-rational, consumeristic, simplistic culture.  But before we are ready to discard a key practice central to our very identity as Christians, perhaps we should give it one more really good, honest try.  What might happen if every United Methodist were challenged to “pray without ceasing” – to dedicate a little time each morning, midday, and evening to prayer for the church, for our leaders, and for God’s will to be understood and done.  I think it is well worth a try.

24 responses to “Prayerheads”

  1. betsypc Avatar
    betsypc

    One further comment–one district in Florida is promoting prayer. They sponsor a website called “Revival Prayer Meeting”. There is a cycle of daily prayers that are posted and people are asked to post their own prayers in response. You ought to check it out. The story of how it came into exixtence is quite inspiring. At one point they were holding actual prayer meetings in different churches throughout that district.

    It is knowing the pastor I referenced in my previous comment that has pushed me to learn what the church is not offering. Because of him and a hard time personally, what the church is offering is no longer enough.

    1. hollyboardman Avatar

      Wow! this is a step in the right direction, and from my own conference! I looked up the website and found it. Take a look.

      What’s This All About?

      Let us humble ourselves and pray..

  2. betsypc Avatar
    betsypc

    You are not “worried for nothing”. The pastor that has had the greatest impact on my life, the one I trusted and trust the most with my life is one who has a deep personal spiritual life and it very much showed. He took the Christian journey very seriously and was passionate about it. However, the church at large was basically unaware of this strength that we needed to learn from. They wanted a CEO to come in and “fix it”. Through him, I learned what was truly missing in church.

  3. Carolyn Avatar
    Carolyn

    I think the reason prayer is on the decline is that we don’t give it enough time. We want God to “fix it all” with prayer today! When God doesn’t fix it today we give up. Our society doesn’t want to wait on God they want God to wait of them. When we really pray about an issue in our church, private lives, and society prayer comes and is answered in God’s time, and only in God’s time. We must pray everyday and with deep intent. Prayer works and thank goodness for prayer for I would not make it a day without it. One must also look for the answer. It is not always the way we want it to be but it is the way God wants it for us. Give thanks for your day and begin that relationship. It is the only way to live. Thanks for your insight.

  4. Sharon McCart Avatar

    I once had a conversation with a woman who had a child with a profound disability. She had left a church because the pastors refused to pray for her son. Maybe it was only that they prayed a wimpy kind of prayer, but she used the words “refused to pray.” Appalling that any pastor would refuse to pray! I know that God’s answers to prayer are not always obvious, and so I guess some people get cold feet about it. I am now in ministry with people with disabilities, for which I receive no salary. There is no clearcut job description or path to follow, so I pray to be able to pay the bills and to know what to do next. God continually answers these prayers and life is exciting! I am grateful. But without prayer I would be depending only on myself—-a form of idolatry.

  5. Cynthia Astle Avatar

    One quick follow-up: The good news is that recent webinars on prayer sponsored by the Upper Room and United Methodist Communications have been filled to capacity. I tried twice to get in on them, and they had reached their participant limit. So here’s hoping that UMC leaders are indeed paying attention to the promptings of God’s Holy Spirit!

  6. Cynthia Astle Avatar

    Dan, I became a certified spiritual director for precisely the reasons you outline here. God burdened me with an illumination that what the Church in general, and the UMC specifically, needs now is guidance on how to pray. I’m not talking about intercessory prayer as if God were the Divine Uncle George dispensing treats to all the good nieces and nephews, but the practices of spending time WITH God on a regular basis.

    One of the reasons my husband John and I joined our current UM congregation is the constant “Prayers of the People” in the Sunday liturgy. Granted, many of these are intercessions that sound like an “organ recital” of physical ailments, but more often these days someone raises up a local, state or national issue calling for Christian compassion and social justice. Nonetheless, there is still plenty of room for spiritual growth, and I pray daily to be God’s humble channel of such connections to divine grace. I will pray for all those you describe in this post, that God will turn their hearts toward the true gifts of the Spirit.

    You’re really on a roll of late. I’m having a hard time keeping UM Insight from becoming “The Dan R. Dick Show.” 🙂 Don’t give up; keep the faith.

  7. Zuhleika Avatar
    Zuhleika

    I talked with a pastor a year ago who told me he wished his congregation was a more prayerful congregation. I asked him what he was doing about that. He responded with a lame explaination that he tries but no one listen. I told him if he were serious, then that is all the congregation would hear – from the pulpit, at the start of meetings, in classes, in conversations in the hallway, etc. If you make the effort people will hear and respond. I was in a congregation that really did not do much for social justice until we had a pastor that believed in social justice – she preached it, she taught it, she talked about it and she modeled it. That congregation became very social justice minded because of that.

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