Nothing is more pitiful, nothing more disastrous, than to be one’s own spiritual director.

I think one of the most disastrous and disingenuous statements made during my lifetime come from those who say, simply, “I am spiritual, but not religious.” I understand the underlying disenchantment and even damage implied by the statement, but it flags for me a deep, indispensable truth about both spirituality and religion: they are not, ever, solitary pursuits. Not “needing” a faith community, a pastor, a teacher, a guru, a guide, a mentor is antithetical to the Christian faith. Discipleship is the essential pathway to life in Christ, and discipleship is never a solo affair.

Certainly, individuals can learn, and grow, and evolve in faith on their own. But to take one’s place in the body of Christ requires relationship, instruction, guidance, and humility. Each of us can only grow so far alone; it is in community with challenge, affirmation, confrontation, and confirmation that we can continue to perfect our faith. “We” are the people of God; there is very little capacity for “me” in Christianity.

I went through a rigorous, arduous, demanding process to be certified as a spiritual director. After three years of study, application, interaction, testing, and counseling it was determined that I would function best with groups rather than individuals. I try too hard to “fix” things, which is not the role of a spiritual director. It was imperative that for me to be a spiritual director, I had to have a spiritual director. None of us are Jesus! We need each other, need community, need guidance in order to be truly faithful in the life of discipleship. I learned so much about myself as I learned all the things I SHOULDN’T do as well as the things I should. I could never have arrived at this insight without guidance and help. No one can adequately be their own spiritual director!

And yet, and yet… We all have to START somewhere. To commit to the Wesleyan acts of personal piety and the practice of the means of grace is critically important. The distinction is that personal acts of prayer, meditation, fasting, and study must be accompanied by the means of grace, which are ALWAYS corporate – prayer with, study and discussion with, fasting with, serving with. There is no such thing as a solitary Christian, a solo disciple, an isolated individual relating one-on-one with their buddy Jesus.

What relationships might you strengthen or develop in the coming year to strengthen your faith? Do you have a spiritual director? Can you find one? Are there ways you can offer spiritual direction to others?