I am heartbroken.  There are those in the Christian church who want to hate and call it love.  I was listening to a young, self-proclaimed evangelical preacher talking about the Bin Laden situation on a Wisconsin radio station yesterday, and the gist of his argument is this:  as Christians, we should have poured out into the streets singing and dancing Sunday evening when the news was announced, and anyone who felt differently is both a questionable Christian and an unpatriotic American.  Real Christian-Americans hate what God hates and should rejoice at destroying any and all evil.  He explained that Jesus taught us that it is not only okay to hate, but that unless we hate we cannot be disciples (see Luke 14:25-35).  True holiness, the young reverend explains, requires an all-out assault on all evil, and he proceeded to list what constitutes evil and what God hates: terrorism, liberals, gays/lesbians/bi-sexuals/transgender (all lumped under the lovely soubriquet “faggots”), pornographers and their audience, democrats, the college-educated, scientists, women who think too highly of themselves, Lady Gaga (why her specifically, I am not sure — he didn’t say), the “liberal media,” other faiths, foreigners who are jacking our gas prices up so high, credit card companies that offer you a ‘pre-approved’ card but deny your application, and all who make fun of devout Christians.  There were more things in his rant, but I couldn’t jot them all down.  It became quickly apparent that anything and everything that disagreed with this young preacher’s sense of values is evil, and God wants him to hate these things — not merely avoid them or judge them; his instruction to his listening audience is that God put us here on earth to destroy these things.  We should do everything in our power to wipe these things out, “so that the world might one day truly experience God’s love.”

Come again?  Where in such a diatribe is a kernel of the love of God?  If you are a high-school educated conservative Republican this is “good news,” but for anyone else (especially Lady Gaga) this doesn’t feel like love.  I know that there are large groups of “Christians” who share this young man’s interpretation (though they might generate a slightyly different list of hates…) and they believe they are on a religious crusade, but what I cannot understand is how they reconcile such venom and bile with the message of Jesus the Christ.  How can they maintain such anger and hostility without being consumed.  Such levels of animosity are exhausting, and they emanate destructive shock waves that wear out those around them as well.

It seems to me (IMHO) that Jesus could have called down fire from heaven to eliminate any and all he considered evil.  He chose another course.  Rather than wholesale destruction he opted for redemption.  Instead of division he laid the groundwork for reconciliation.  He declared a moratorium on judgment and promoted forgiveness.  He called us to be a healing force in the broken world, not to use our time, talents and gifts to break it further,  To what good end will we “eliminate” that which we arbitrarily label evil.  Once people were put to death or exiled for mixing fabrics or eating milk and meat together.  This was evil.  (Raping a girl and paying off her father was okay, though…)  Adopting a hard and fast application of 3,000+ year old community rules might not be the best use of our faith, either in the specifics or the generalities.  An eye-for-an-eye was the best a primitive, pre-modern, impoverished people could come up with.  We can do better.  We have learned a lot.  We have much better conditions and technologies.  We have matured in our civilization… oh, wait… we could benefit by maturing in our civilization.

As a thought experiment, let’s take “hate” off the table.  It is no longer as option.  What do we gain, what do we lose?  Starting with what we lose first.  Ego and selfishness take a hit.  If I can’t hate, well, I am left with many alternatives that place the burden back squarely on my shoulders.  I have every right to disagree, to debate, and to even reject what I hear, but I do not have the luxury of walking away or rejecting the other person (Note:  this is true whether we think “hate” means misei in the Greek or sone‘ in the Aramaic.  In English, hate is generally a noun that connotes the feeling of revulsion or aversion, and we think in terms of acts of hatred; in both Greek and Aramaic, hate is a verb.  In the Greek, it actually means “to cut off,” “renounce,” or “deny a place.”  In Aramaic, it means “to set aside,” or “to turn from.”  Neither hold the emotional negativity of modern English, but both imply a separating and denial.)  Hate is used to dismiss, denigrate, and divide.  Without hate, we are stuck with each other.  If I don’t hate you, my motivations to hurt you diminish to almost nothing.  Why would I hurt someone I don’t hate.  I lose my motivation to treat others with contempt, to injure, to insult, to embarrass or shame.  Revenge is off the table as well.  I won’t be malicious or vindictive without hatred.  No, if I am denied hatred, most acts of violence are relegated to socio-pathology — the only ones who hate are those who are mentally ill.

So what do we gain?  If hatred is eliminated completely, I gain peace of mind.  Not only do I not have to expend energy in hating others, I can live in a confidence that others are not hating me.  I can stop worrying so much about protecting myself, and I can steer that energy into more productive and creative pursuits.  I realize that many old hurts are stuck in the dynamic tension of feeling wronged by those I dislike or disagree with.  Hate has been exerting pressure even in things I haven’t identified in the past as hate.  I find great freedom and relief.  My playing field is leveled.  I get to find ways to love that I never had time to explore before.  I can value and honor those different from myself without fear or judgment.  Sounds a bit like heaven.

But don’t think good old American hate (as opposed to the two forms of biblical hate aforementioned) will leave us alone.  Many people will immediately think, “well, I can’t take hate off the table because of all those horrid terrorists are out to get me!”  True, we can’t impose our standards on anyone else, but at least examine the logic that states that because another person or group chooses to be driven by hate, that not only justifies but motivates us to adopt hate as well (but call it something more noble, because we don’t hate… only “they/them” hate).

Jesus chose the “forgive them for they know not what they do path” and the church has been living in denial ever since.  Turning the other cheek is for wussies.  Laying down the sword is for cowards.  Seeking the blessing reserved for the meek, the poor, the peacemakers is un-American and unChristian.  Oh, we believe all of it in theory, but we don’t want to take the teachings of Jesus too far.  There have to be exceptions — like anytime something bad happens to us and we want revenge.  There simply have to be allowances for extenuating circumstances.

I watched two children playing in a park — a little boy and his older sister.  As they were playing, the little girl decided she needed to hug her brother, but he wasn’t having any part of it.  She tried to kiss him, and he shoved her away.  She wrapped her arms around him, and he struggled free.  Trying futilely to get him in her arms, she finally hauled off and slugged him as hard as she could.  Their mother intervened, and the little girl burst into tears and whined, “He won’t let me love him the way I want to.”  Isn’t it frustrating when the rest of the world doesn’t want to be loved the way we want to love them?  It is why it is so imperative that we spend time together asking not, “how do we want to love,” but “how would God have us love?”  Definitely, the world needs a hug, and so often it doesn’t value the hug we extend.  This just means we need to try harder… and NO HITTING!

12 responses to “Hate Exhaustion”

  1. Ruth Malone Avatar
    Ruth Malone

    Just because you characterize justice as hate, revenge as evil, and a celebration of the elimination of a monster as wrong doesn’t make it so. We held a party at my church last Sunday night and burned Bin Laden in effigy on the church lawn. It was a marvelous evening, and we closed by holding hands and singing and praying for God’s peace to save the whole world. This, my friend, is a valid Christian witness to God’s triumph over evil in our world. I am very sorry for you that you can’t understand this.

    1. Dan R. Dick Avatar
      Dan R. Dick

      We disagree – mightily – on this point. I grieve any story of a church holding a party for a killing or burning a person in effigy. There is no grace or love in such acts, in my opinion. Please do not feel sorry for me. Such pity is misplaced.

      1. Ryan Avatar

        Dan,

        Thanks again for such a thoughtful response. Even if such a death was necessary, the aftermath illustrated just how easily killing can spiral into glorification and blood lust.

    2. Ryan Avatar
      Ryan

      And because you call that “Christian” doesn’t make it so. We shall know them by their fruits, and those fruits smell nothing less than bitterly rotten.

  2. Jeff R Avatar
    Jeff R

    Mervin makes a good observation: “It is hard not to hate those who hate everything you hold dear.”
    The problem is that we all too often hold the wrong things in endearment. Instead of worrying about the threat to our American way of life (materialism and overconsumption) perhaps we should look to the threat from ourselves when we don’t love one another like we should, or love and pray for our enemies.

  3. Zuhleika Avatar
    Zuhleika

    I wonder how that pastor reconciles his views with the Sermon on the mount – specifically Matthew 5:43-48 – love your enemies and pray for them?

  4. […] the other end of the spectrum, UM Pastor, Dan Dick, in a blog post titled “Hate Exhaustion,” describes another Christian reaction to bin Laden’s death: I was listening to a young, […]

  5. Mervin Hartmeyer Avatar
    Mervin Hartmeyer

    You get on something and you won’t let it go! I get what you are saying about not letting hate run away with us, but I think it is right to hate evil and to hate what evil does. There are people who are so corrupted by evil, they are beyond redemption. I think Bin Laden was one of those. I think the young pastor is being too general about who to hate, and some of what he said seems just plain silly. But I don’t think he is completely wrong, either. It is hard not to hate those who hate everything you hold dear.

    I’ve started reading you even though I don’t agree with much you say. Our pastor thinks you are great and we heard about you a couple times in his sermons. Do you pastor a church?

    1. Dan R. Dick Avatar
      Dan R. Dick

      My quibble is that the way we use the word and concept of “hate” today has very little in common with our 1st century forebears. We saddle “hate” with deep levels of anger, contempt, derision and other negative emotions. I am also uncomfortable with the idea that anyone alive is beyond God’s redemption. I cannot know fully the mind of God nor the totality of reality upon which to make such a determination. There are those who make the case that Judas deserved to die — that he deserved worse than he got — yet Jesus loved him until the end (and, I speculate, beyond). I have worked in prison ministries for years and have witnessed some hard-cases resist any and all attempts at their redemption for years before finally changing their ways. I know a man who beat an elderly lady to death in 1958, served thirty-five years in prison without remorse, then in 1997 became a Christian and upon parole dedicated the last seven years of his life to working in nursing homes to care for those most like the woman he killed. He once told me that 20 preachers tried to convert him and 20 preachers gave up. This was a man who was hateful and easy to hate for the first 59 years of his life, then became a good person and a gentle man. I try to see him in the faces of those who hurt and anger me the most so that I might tap some level of compassion that does not come to me naturally. It IS hard not to hate — that’s why we need the guidance and empowerment of the Holy Spirit.

      I do not serve a local congregation. I work for the Wisconsin Annual Conference as a program director. I’m glad your pastor likes my blog, and I hope I grow on you over time.

  6. dave werner Avatar
    dave werner

    Yes! Thank you for these good words and vision!

    In the mean time, try listening to public radio.

    ISTM that this possibility of living without hate is another reason to seek out those who would share such a perspective, no matter how imperfectly. i’m not suggesting finding a community of completely like-minded folks–not likely, but i am suggesting focusing attention on those who share the kindom vision and not allowing some of our less-hearty neighbors to get so much of our mindtime and energy.

Leave a reply to Mervin Hartmeyer Cancel reply